Plans are for Fools
Having kids 7 years apart gets some questions, my favorite of which is "do they have the same fathers?" That one has only been asked once but it would be hard to top.
The funny thing is, it's not an unreasonable question. Most people don't seem to space their kids out by 7 years unless they traded in one spouse for another along the way.
For us it was merely a combination of career chaos, inertia, uncertainty of what we wanted from life, and it taking a little while to get pregnant once we were certain of what we wanted from life. The most frequent question I get about their age gap ("Was it planned?") is almost impossible to answer.
So imagine our surprise when we learned that we're expecting a 3rd child before Jason will even turn 2!
After Lily's initial joyful reaction ("My Christmas wish came true!"), she asked Matt and I "But why are we having another baby now, when Jason is still so little?"
We shared a sideways glance. Yikes. Could it be that our 8-year-old is better at family planning than we are?
The truth is, this happened much more quickly than we thought it would and we're freaking out a little bit. I've had three other women who did the "two under two" thing tell me that the first year is a literal waking nightmare.
2018 was supposed to be the year of me- awesome European business trip followed by awesome trip to Amsterdam; yoga retreat to Costa Rica; wine-filled family trip to Paris over Spring break; finally losing the last 10 pounds from having Jason. I was supposed to get pregnant in late 2018, after I did all that great shit!
Nope.
Business trip was mainly me trying not to throw up in the presence of clients in various travel scenarios. I was stone cold sober for Amsterdam and it was cold and lame. Can't go on the yoga retreat because of Zika. Paris will be wine-free for me. Instead of getting my body back, I'll be getting my belly back.
I know, I know; boo-freaking-hoo! Believe me, I know how lucky I am and I'm not complaining. It just took me a little while to adjust and mentally reframe 2018.
Part of the issue was that work was so busy in January and February that I didn't have time to get sentimental about it. But March has been so much more manageable work-wise that I've had time to get excited about it. I actually really like being pregnant (1st trimester nausea aside) and was so happy when my belly popped out last week.
Then I had an ultrasound this morning which confirmed all looks good and I felt a surge of happiness. I didn't even realized I had been holding it back until then. It was so cool to see our little bean on the screen, bouncing around and waving its hands. I looked at Jason next to me watching but of course not really understanding, knowing that was him only about 2 years ago.
It made me realize that in some ways time is actually meaningless; it's how we feel about time that matters. The 7 years between Lily and Jason doesn't actually feel that large. They have the sweetest relationship and adore each other regardless. Measured against the span of life, having this baby 6 months later really doesn't matter. I'll eventually lose the baby weight and I'm sure I'll find another yoga retreat after the new baby is weaned. It will all work out and we'll have one more snugglebug in our bed for morning cuddles.
Oh, and I'm going to eat a shit-ton of cheese in Paris.
The funny thing is, it's not an unreasonable question. Most people don't seem to space their kids out by 7 years unless they traded in one spouse for another along the way.
For us it was merely a combination of career chaos, inertia, uncertainty of what we wanted from life, and it taking a little while to get pregnant once we were certain of what we wanted from life. The most frequent question I get about their age gap ("Was it planned?") is almost impossible to answer.
So imagine our surprise when we learned that we're expecting a 3rd child before Jason will even turn 2!
After Lily's initial joyful reaction ("My Christmas wish came true!"), she asked Matt and I "But why are we having another baby now, when Jason is still so little?"
We shared a sideways glance. Yikes. Could it be that our 8-year-old is better at family planning than we are?
The truth is, this happened much more quickly than we thought it would and we're freaking out a little bit. I've had three other women who did the "two under two" thing tell me that the first year is a literal waking nightmare.
2018 was supposed to be the year of me- awesome European business trip followed by awesome trip to Amsterdam; yoga retreat to Costa Rica; wine-filled family trip to Paris over Spring break; finally losing the last 10 pounds from having Jason. I was supposed to get pregnant in late 2018, after I did all that great shit!
Nope.
Business trip was mainly me trying not to throw up in the presence of clients in various travel scenarios. I was stone cold sober for Amsterdam and it was cold and lame. Can't go on the yoga retreat because of Zika. Paris will be wine-free for me. Instead of getting my body back, I'll be getting my belly back.
I know, I know; boo-freaking-hoo! Believe me, I know how lucky I am and I'm not complaining. It just took me a little while to adjust and mentally reframe 2018.
Part of the issue was that work was so busy in January and February that I didn't have time to get sentimental about it. But March has been so much more manageable work-wise that I've had time to get excited about it. I actually really like being pregnant (1st trimester nausea aside) and was so happy when my belly popped out last week.
Then I had an ultrasound this morning which confirmed all looks good and I felt a surge of happiness. I didn't even realized I had been holding it back until then. It was so cool to see our little bean on the screen, bouncing around and waving its hands. I looked at Jason next to me watching but of course not really understanding, knowing that was him only about 2 years ago.
It made me realize that in some ways time is actually meaningless; it's how we feel about time that matters. The 7 years between Lily and Jason doesn't actually feel that large. They have the sweetest relationship and adore each other regardless. Measured against the span of life, having this baby 6 months later really doesn't matter. I'll eventually lose the baby weight and I'm sure I'll find another yoga retreat after the new baby is weaned. It will all work out and we'll have one more snugglebug in our bed for morning cuddles.
Oh, and I'm going to eat a shit-ton of cheese in Paris.
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| Jason planting a sloppy wet one on his big sis. |
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