Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! I can't believe how quickly 2017 went by! I feel like Jason was just born and here we are a whole year later...
In the spirit of being honest (which seems to be the anti-spirit of blogging and social media), I spent most of November and early December in a swirl of pessimism. I wasn't unhappy per se, or upset about a particular thing but I just felt uncertain about life in general and kind of un-moored. I had the feeling that each day was happening to me & that I was wantonly being pulled in different directions, toward different tasks.
I've had a really great 2017 career-wise and yet, as everyone who knows me well knows, I've never really loved being a lawyer. It's kind of a bummer when you're good at something that you don't really want to be doing in the first place. And yet, I feel I'm too old, too pragmatic and too fiscally responsible to truly start over by abandoning my law practice.
This was really bugging me until mid-December when Matt and I had a long, winding talk about EVERYTHING. Married folks know these talks are uncomfortable (sometimes even painful) but so necessary. When I was finally honest with Matt (and by extension myself) about my angst & guilt over that angst (how can I really complain about having a lucrative career that supports my family?) a big heap of that angst disappeared.
I attribute that to 3 things: (1) just saying things to Matt tends to make them less of a big deal than they are in my head; (2) I have started, and resolve to continue, calendaring my workouts; and (3) I am learning to say no to opportunities.
2017 was the year of yes. I took on so many new clients & projects, even though mid-year I had stated that my goal was to do less. I did this because I was scared of turning down business that I might need in the future. As a result, I was overworked and bitter about it. None of the reasons that I quit my job in 2015 were being fulfilled anymore and it took getting to a breaking point to realize that. Hence (3).
Re: (2), in the Fall I committed to a personal training session once a week and another workout class once a week. I kept the personal training session since it was a standing date but I constantly skipped the class due to early morning client calls. Starting in mid-December every Monday I calendar a class and I don't move it for any client-related reason. 2 hours a week isn't going to get me back to my pre-baby bod but it has made a big difference in my mood, which is way more important. Bigger pants can be purchased; a better attitude cannot be. My goal for 2018 is to add 1 more workout a week so I get up to 3/week.
So even though I usually eschew New Year's resolutions, I'm going to hold myself to these 3 this year because it's too easy for me to get caught up in a cycle of taking on more, excusing myself from exercise, getting tired & bitter, and holding it all in.
& the good news is that we had a fantastic Christmas & holiday break. I was truly "OOO" for the whole week after Christmas and it was so relaxing and wonderful to just be with Matt & the kids. I will share more about our week later. :)
In the spirit of being honest (which seems to be the anti-spirit of blogging and social media), I spent most of November and early December in a swirl of pessimism. I wasn't unhappy per se, or upset about a particular thing but I just felt uncertain about life in general and kind of un-moored. I had the feeling that each day was happening to me & that I was wantonly being pulled in different directions, toward different tasks.
I've had a really great 2017 career-wise and yet, as everyone who knows me well knows, I've never really loved being a lawyer. It's kind of a bummer when you're good at something that you don't really want to be doing in the first place. And yet, I feel I'm too old, too pragmatic and too fiscally responsible to truly start over by abandoning my law practice.
This was really bugging me until mid-December when Matt and I had a long, winding talk about EVERYTHING. Married folks know these talks are uncomfortable (sometimes even painful) but so necessary. When I was finally honest with Matt (and by extension myself) about my angst & guilt over that angst (how can I really complain about having a lucrative career that supports my family?) a big heap of that angst disappeared.
I attribute that to 3 things: (1) just saying things to Matt tends to make them less of a big deal than they are in my head; (2) I have started, and resolve to continue, calendaring my workouts; and (3) I am learning to say no to opportunities.
2017 was the year of yes. I took on so many new clients & projects, even though mid-year I had stated that my goal was to do less. I did this because I was scared of turning down business that I might need in the future. As a result, I was overworked and bitter about it. None of the reasons that I quit my job in 2015 were being fulfilled anymore and it took getting to a breaking point to realize that. Hence (3).
Re: (2), in the Fall I committed to a personal training session once a week and another workout class once a week. I kept the personal training session since it was a standing date but I constantly skipped the class due to early morning client calls. Starting in mid-December every Monday I calendar a class and I don't move it for any client-related reason. 2 hours a week isn't going to get me back to my pre-baby bod but it has made a big difference in my mood, which is way more important. Bigger pants can be purchased; a better attitude cannot be. My goal for 2018 is to add 1 more workout a week so I get up to 3/week.
So even though I usually eschew New Year's resolutions, I'm going to hold myself to these 3 this year because it's too easy for me to get caught up in a cycle of taking on more, excusing myself from exercise, getting tired & bitter, and holding it all in.
& the good news is that we had a fantastic Christmas & holiday break. I was truly "OOO" for the whole week after Christmas and it was so relaxing and wonderful to just be with Matt & the kids. I will share more about our week later. :)
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| My favorite Christmas photo from this year. |
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